very-funny

A young couple, madly in love, decided to get married. But as the wedding day neared, both grew increasingly nervous over secret problems they had never shared with anyone. Privately, the groom-to-be approached his minister. “I’m really concerned about the secret I’ve kept from my fiancé,” the young man said. “I have …

There once was Guy whose given name was “Onestone”, so named because he had only one test!cle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone! After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, “If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!” The word got around and nobody call…

A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting hammered. A man came in and asked the farmer, 'Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?' The farmer shook his head and replied, 'Some things you just can't explain.' 'So what happened that's so horrible?' …

Who said he wanted to? An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?" The old timer said, "I'm a golfer and that's why I'm in such good shape.   I'm up well be…

Three little pigs walk into a restaurant They are seated at a table. After a few minutes to look at the menu, they decide to start with some appetizers. The waiter asks the pigs what they will have. “I’ll start with some chips and salsa,” the first pig replies. “I will begin with some mozzarella sticks,” the second …

A gynaecologist waits on his last patient, who does not arrive. After an hour, he makes a gin and tonic to relax. After he settles into an armchair to read the newspaper, he hears the doorbell ring. It’s the patient, who arrives all embarrassed and apologizes for the delay. “It doesn’t matter,” answers the doctor.…

As a woman passes her daughter’s closed bedroom door she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from inside. Opening the door, she saw her daughter with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked: ‘what in the world are you doing?’ The daughter replied: ‘ Mum, I’m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close…