very-funny

Three bank robbers: a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde. Are trying to evade the police when they come across a farm. Being short on time and options, they all decide to hide in the barn. The redhead hides near the horses, the brunette hides near the cows and the blonde hides in a pile of potatoes. When the police c…

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the KKK. This is a horrible lie. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God ." No one moved. The preacher continued, “Do y…

A boy Name Little Johnny with a bucket full of live fish was approached by a game warden. The game warden asked the boy, “May I see your fishing license please?” “Naw, sir,” replied the boy. “I don’t need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish.” “Pet fish?!” “Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o’…

Arthur is 75 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 15 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn’t see where it went.” His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As …

A young couple, madly in love, decided to get married. But as the wedding day neared, both grew increasingly nervous over secret problems they had never shared with anyone. Privately, the groom-to-be approached his minister. “I’m really concerned about the secret I’ve kept from my fiancé,” the young man said. “I have …

There once was Guy whose given name was “Onestone”, so named because he had only one test!cle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone! After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, “If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!” The word got around and nobody call…

A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting hammered. A man came in and asked the farmer, 'Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?' The farmer shook his head and replied, 'Some things you just can't explain.' 'So what happened that's so horrible?' …

Who said he wanted to? An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?" The old timer said, "I'm a golfer and that's why I'm in such good shape.   I'm up well be…

Three little pigs walk into a restaurant They are seated at a table. After a few minutes to look at the menu, they decide to start with some appetizers. The waiter asks the pigs what they will have. “I’ll start with some chips and salsa,” the first pig replies. “I will begin with some mozzarella sticks,” the second …