very-funny

An elderly man wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little maths test: “Here is your first question.” The foreman says. “Without using numbers, represent the number nine?”   “Without numbers?” The old man says. “That’s easy.” And he proceeds to draw three trees. “What’s this?” The boss asks…

True story! You gotta read the rhyming copy, it's classic: A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation. When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in approximately the 1940’s…

A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s final exam: “Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”…

During the service, the pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express thanks for prayers which had been answered. A lady stood up and came forward. She said, “I have a reason to thank the Lord. Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. T…

TWO NUNS WERE SHOPPING AT A 7-11 STORE. AS THEY PASSED BY THE BEER COOLER, ONE NUN SAID TO THE OTHER, " WOULDN'T A NICE COOL BEER OR TWO TASTE WONDERFUL ON A HOT SUMMER EVENING?" THE SECOND NUN ANSWERED, "INDEED IT WOULD, SISTER, BUT I WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE BUYING BEER, SINCE I AM CERTAIN IT W…

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.  I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.  She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.  I honestly answered, 'No, this is my …

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and then he would buy her another place.   The wife agreed to this but asked that she be given 3 days on her own there…

An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy something.   “Well, my wife ain’t home, she’s gone down to the creek to wash clothes, but lemme see what you got,” said the man. The peddler showe…