very-funny

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said £50.00. Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of pro*stitution, and sometime…

A state trooper pulled over a car going just 19 miles per hour on the highway. As the officer approached the car, he noticed it was two elderly women and they both looked very pale and wide-eyed. “Good afternoon ladies. Do you know why I am pulling you over?” asked the trooper. “I’m terribly sorry if I did somethin…

Mrs Murphy and Mrs. Cohen had been longtime close friends. But being old-fashioned, each went to a retirement home of her own respective religion. It was not long before Mrs. Murphy felt very lonesome for Mrs. Cohen, so one day she asked to be driven to the Jewish Home to visit her old friend. When she arrived she …

One day, three sisters were at home and their mom said their boyfriends could stay the night. That night, the mom was walking through the hallway and heard crying from the first daughter’s room. Then, she heard laughter coming from the second daughter’s room. However, there was no sound at all from the third daught…

Two guys are driving along in a car when they see two dogs mating in someone’s yard. The driver says, “That is great. My wife and I do that every night.” The passenger replies, “My wife is conservative, she likes it the old-fashioned way. But if you tell me how you get your wife to do this, I would like to try it.”…

A married couple was in a terrible accident in which the man's face was severely burned.   The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.   So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.   However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt wa…

There is nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this guy handled it. A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said…