very-funny

😎A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz." A student asked, "What gender is 'computer…

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost maki…

While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but there were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circums…

Mom: Time to wake up and go to school!   Son: No, I don’t wanna go to school today!   Mom: But you have to go to school.   Son: But, I don’t wanna go to school.   Mom: Give me three good reasons why you should stay home, and I will give you three reasons why you need to go to school.   Son: Well, all the students ha…

A 67 year old woman walks into a drugstore.   There’s a lot of people in the store, and she goes to stand in line.   After a while, it’s her turn at the counter.   She asks, “Hi, do you sell extra large condoms?”   The cashier says “Yes” and points her down aisle 11.   About 30 minutes go by, and the pharmacist noti…

A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking United” was the reply. “W…