very-funny

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists: two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter wha…

A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex. The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?".  The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says "they're just making a puppy." "OK" says the …

A teacher was explaining biology to her 4th grade students.   “Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she said.   A little girl raised her hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.”   The teacher, knowing how precious some children’s stories could become, asked the little girl to describe the incident.   “We…

Farmer Jack once lived on a quiet rural highway, but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a week. So Farmer Jack called the local police station to complain, "You've got to do somethin…

Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.  I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.   These last 2 weeks have been hell.  Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.  Last week, you came home & …

A 90 year-old man marries a beautiful 25 year-old woman.   They go on their honeymoon to beautiful, picturesque Venice, Italy.   After a day of sightseeing, they return to their hotel. He turns to his young bride and says, “Honey, I’m tired after all this excitement. I’m going to go to bed. See you in the morning.” …