very-funny

Two Little Old ladies Two little old ladies, Connie, and Jean, were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. The short one, Jean, leaned over and said, "Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $10 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that s…

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!”, he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge …

The devil pulls up his file on his computer and sighs “You’ve been a naughty boy haven’t you? Extortion, gambling, sex with prostitutes and even murder!”.  The lawyer hangs his head in shame and the devil pats him lightly on the shoulder. “I’m a fair guy, what I’m going to do is let you pick your own punishment..” T…

TWELVE COMMANDMENTS FOR SENIORS #1 - Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice. #2 - “In Style” are the clothes that still fit. #3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off. #4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work. …

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon “Quickie” with their 8 -year old son in the flat, was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the street activities. .  Their 8-year old began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation; .  ‘There’s a car being towed fr…

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace.  Take us to your leader.”  The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond.  The younger alien became angry at the…