very-funny

APARTMENT for RENT... So a businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for £500. They did their thing, and before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his Secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'…

A beautiful woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. The woman seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his…

A boss said to his secretary I Want to have sex with you and I will make it very fast.  I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it, I’ll be done.  She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but “Ask him for $2000, pick up t…

A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas.   The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.   The wife said, ” Where are you, you know we have lots to do?!”   He said, “You remember the jeweler we went into about 10 years ago, …

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.  This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for the next 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new…

Mom confesses to her son about an affair she had. The boy realises his mom's husband isn't his biological father. Mother: Son I’m sorry my husband is not your dad. I had an affair 23 years ago with a man. And that person is your real father.” Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this? Mother: I am s…

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party…

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebel…