very-funny

One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp. Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However, because of what you did, I will a…

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?” The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas. “Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and…

An elderly gent had an appointment to see a urologist who  shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. He approached the  receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large imposing  woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a  very loud voice the receptionis…

A couple, attending an art exhibition, at the National Gallery,  were staring at a portrait that had them totally confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on  a park bench. Two of the men had black penises, but the one seated in the  middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery r…

Try this out: Stop at your pharmacy, go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into comfortable clothing and sit in…

While waiting at a bus stop for a bus, a woman stepped onto a weight machine that told your fortune and weight for a quarter. She put a quarter in, and out came a card that read: “Your age is 32, You weigh 135 lbs, and you play the fiddle.” She found the fortune amusing, since she didn’t play the fiddle, but it did …

A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed  , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised  when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be  seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and she  became so worried that she called him on her mobile…