very-funny

A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR AND ORDERS A DRINK. The bartender gives the man his drink and the man asks, “If I show you something crazy, would I have free drinks for the rest of the night?” The bartender thinks for a minute and then says, “It would to be something spectacular to take that offer.” The man leans down and pi…

A Highway Patrol Officer pulled over a little old lady for going 10mph on the highway.   As he walked up to old lady’s car he noticed there were 3 other elderly folks looking very frightened and rigid.   He leaned down to the old lady’s window and noticed she was as calm as could be.   “Do you know why I pulled you …

A little boy is lying in bed, busting to go to the toilet.   So he gets out of bed, runs downstairs into the living room, and finds his mother chatting to a bunch of her friends.   “MUM,” the boy yells at the top of his voice, “I GOTTA PISS! I GOTTA PISS!”   Well, needless to say, the mother is mortified at her son’…

Last week, a woman checked into the Four Seasons in Palm Beach and was a bit lonely.  She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Damon - a very handsome m…