very-funny

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we…

A man and his wife are at a restaurant,  and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table. His wife asks, “Do you know her?” “Yes,” sighs the husband. “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.” “My God…

So, God asked him, “What’s wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. God continued, “This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you.”   “She…

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake... He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, t…

A poor boy was in love with a rich man’s daughter Overcome with his love for the girl, the boy proposed to her. However, the rich girl derisively rejected him and said, “Your monthly salary is equivalent to my daily expenses How do you expect me to marry someone like you? I can never love you so forget about me Go f…

In a small town far away, a young man started his own business—a dime store at the corner of two streets He was a good man He was honest and friendly, and the people loved him. They bought his goods and they told their friends about him. His business grew and he expanded his store In a matter of years, he developed …

… the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife Tearfully she explained, “It's the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.” Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just…

A senior couple decides to try v*agra for the first time ever. They have an incredible night together. In the morning, the wife asks her husband at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?” He declines. “Thanks for asking, but, I’m not hungry …

A prostitute loses her three sons. She goes to the police to report about them. The police officer asks her, “Is there any way to identify them? Do you remember what they were wearing, or anything else about them that could help recognise them?” The prostitute says, “I don’t remember what they were wearing, but yes,…

Josey wasn’t the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. “Who is the creator of the universe?” Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, “God almighty!” The teacher congratul…

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, “I want to be gorgeous.” God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noti…

Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Steve headed home frustrated. The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the …

An 87 year old man was having his annual checkup when the doctor asked how he was feeling. “I've never been better!” he boasted “I've got an 18 year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?” The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, “Let me tell you a story I …

A 71 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar  Suddenly a gorgeous 19 year old girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her  After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him. Before the man has time to apologize, the gir…

The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile. The wife said, ” Where are you, you know we have lots to do?!” He said, “You remember the jewellers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford…