very-funny

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, and orders three pints of Guinness. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender says to him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, and it would taste b…

A big city lawyer went duck hunting.  He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.  As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded: “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and no…

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty mann…

Three guys were at deer camp.  They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Steve because he snored so badly.  They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first night, John slept in Steve’s room and came to breakfast the next morning with…

A month before my wedding, my fiancée told me she mistakenly left her favorite hoodie at her sister's apartment and asked me to go get it. I knocked on the door and her sister answered, wearing yoga pants and a low-cut top. I'd always thought my fiancée's sister was hot but she was exceptionally sexy tod…