very-funny

A married woman walks up to a doctor and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in love making. Doctor then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills. He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it’s working. So she takes the pills home and puts one pill in her husban…

Little Johnny runs into the bathroom just as his mother is stepping out of the shower and curiously points to her triangle of hair and asks: “Mommy what’s that?” Somewhat flustered she quickly replies: “Well dear that is my sponge.” Content with her answer off he goes… Later he runs into the living room and asks “Momm…

One night, this guy is invited out for a night with the guys. He promised his live-in girlfriend that he would be home by midnight. Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down smooth, and before he knew it, it was 2:30 a.m. Drunk as a skunk, he headed for home. Just as he got in the door, the cuckoo clock in th…

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a dra…

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. Then she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested. Then the case came …

Sarah and Abe are out celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary. During the evening, Sarah broaches the subject of (their) life insurance, an issue she has been raising with him for at least 10 years, without success. “Abe,” she says, with tears in her eyes, “I don’t think you love me.” “Why do you think that?” he as…

Three College girls visit the doctor for an examination. Doctor: “Take off your blouse and bra.” So the girl complies and there is imprint of a T on her chest. Doctor says: “What caused this?” Girl: “Well my boyfriend goes to Texas University and likes to wear his letter jacket when we make love.” Doctor: “Ok, you’re …

On Little Johnny’s first day of school, The teacher asked Johnny what 10+10 is and he said he doesn’t know. So his teacher told him to go home and find out. After school, he went to ask his dad but he was fixing the car. Johnny: Daddy what is 10+10 dad: f*** off can’t you see I’m busy He went to ask his brother jake b…

Donna arrived home from work early one day and found her husband, Glen, in bed with another woman. “That’s it!” she shouted, “I’m leaving and I’m not coming back!” “Wait honey,” Glen pleaded, “Can’t you at least let me explain?” “Fine, let’s hear your story,” Donna replied. “Well, I was driving home when I saw this …

Two men are walking through the woods together and they come across an insanely huge h*le in the ground. The first man picks up a rock and tosses it into the h*le. The rock vanishes from sight, and neither guy could hear the rock hit the bottom. The second man decides to throw a huge log into the h*le. After a few s…

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that truck?!” He calmly told them, “I bought it today.” “With what money?” demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. “Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me just fifteen…