very-funny

While teaching religion class one morning Sister Bridgette was speaking to her 3rd-grade class and she asked the question, “When you die and go to heaven… which part of your body goes first? Suzy raised her hand and said, “I think it’s your hands.” “Why do you think it’s your hands, Suzy?” said Sister. Suzie replied…

There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it. The first one went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, “I spent the …

A husband and wife were having dinner at a fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she’ll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, “Who was that??!!” “Oh,” replies the husband, “that was my mistress.” The wife say…

An 18 year old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her monthlies for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says ‘who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!’ The girl pic…

A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says, “Sir, I’m afraid there has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is sitting at the next table is a regular customer of ours and he usually orders the same dish. The…

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he’s afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He k…

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, “You know, a mug goes flat after …

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You're the father of twins.” “That's odd,” answers the man “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You're the father o…

A woman wakes up, puts up the shade, takes the cover off the parrot’s cage, makes coffee, and smokes a cigarette. Suddenly the phone rings. It’s her boyfriend saying he’s coming over. She snubs out the cigarette, pulls down the shade, unplugs the coffee pot, puts the cover back on ... CONTINUE READING >