very-funny

Making babies The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-doo…

An elderly Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large black beard walks in: The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whiskey. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says. “Hey, aren’t you going to pay for tha…

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, “Hang on! You’re a duck.” “Yep,” replies the duck. “And you can talk!” exclaims the barman. “Yep again”, says the duck, “Now if you don’t mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?” “Certainly, sorry about t…

Not too long ago, there was a man who felt that his wife was being distant and unloving. He wanted to know how his wife would react if he left without telling her where he had gone. He decided to write her a letter saying he was tired of her and didn’t want to live with her anymore. He knew it was petty and perhaps ch…

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. “Well sister, this looks pretty grim.” “I know, father.…

One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. Naturally, she was very upset. “You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me! I’m a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right away!” The…