very-funny

An old man was sitting in a private box at a major football match with an empty seat next to him: A young enthusiast saw the empty seat and said to the old man. “Who on earth has paid for this expensive seat but not turned up! they must be mad, do you mind if I sit here?” The old man …

APARTMENT for RENT... So a businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for £500. They did their thing, and before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his Secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'…

A beautiful woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. The woman seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his…

A boss said to his secretary I Want to have sex with you and I will make it very fast.  I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it, I’ll be done.  She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but “Ask him for $2000, pick up t…

A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas.   The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.   The wife said, ” Where are you, you know we have lots to do?!”   He said, “You remember the jeweler we went into about 10 years ago, …