very-funny

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello ? ' 'Is your daddy home?…

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and  even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out for l…

A farmer was sitting on his porch one day when a young man drives in and comes to the door. “Sir, I was driving by and noticed you had a lot of milkweeds in your pasture. Would you mind if I went out and got some milk?” “You don’t get milk from milkweed!” the farmer replied. “Oh yes,” said the young man, “I have a …

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.  His wife was really angry. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!” The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up,  she looked out the wind…

A man was driving down the highway when another car starts to tailgate him. To make some room between them, the man in front speeds up and pulls ahead. As he speeds up, the car behind him speeds up and matches his speed. Again, the man speeds up to make some room between the two cars. Again, the car behind him spee…

A man stops by his doctor’s office. He tells his doctor of his concern for his wife’s hearing. “She doesn’t answer me when I ask her questions.” He told his doctor. After a lengthy conversation, the doctor thinks of a simple test the man can do: “Stand about twenty feet behind your wife and ask her a question. If s…