very-funny

An old cowboy died and he’s at the pearly gates, Waiting to be admitted while St. Peter is leafin’ through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy. St. Peter goes through the Book several times and furrows his brow, “You know, I can’t see that you ever did anything really bad in your life, but you never did anyth…

Bert is 85 years old and always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Fred Couples wore on his tour. So, seeing a pair on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the Mrs Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and …

A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview went quite well with one problem - he kept winking at the camera. The interviewer said, "Although you have a lot of the qualities we're looking for, the fact that you keep winking is a real problem. I'm afraid we won't…

Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store. Little Johnny wanted to go to the toy department, but grandmother said that they had to stop in the ladies clothing department first. He obviously couldn’t wait that long, and the next time his grandmother turned around he was gone. She panicked…

The Cow, the Ant and the Old Fart. A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them. The cow said, “I give 40 litres of milk every day and that’s why I am the greatest!” The ant said, “I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that’s why I …

Dave and his wife were working in their garden one day when Dave looks over at his wife and says, “Your butt is getting really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.” With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wi…

A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?' The farmer said, 'I want to get one of them dayvorces.' The lawyer said, 'Do you have any grounds?' The farmer said, 'Yes, I got 40 acres' The lawyer said, 'No, No, you…