very-funny

While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but there were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circums…

Mom: Time to wake up and go to school!   Son: No, I don’t wanna go to school today!   Mom: But you have to go to school.   Son: But, I don’t wanna go to school.   Mom: Give me three good reasons why you should stay home, and I will give you three reasons why you need to go to school.   Son: Well, all the students ha…

A 67 year old woman walks into a drugstore.   There’s a lot of people in the store, and she goes to stand in line.   After a while, it’s her turn at the counter.   She asks, “Hi, do you sell extra large condoms?”   The cashier says “Yes” and points her down aisle 11.   About 30 minutes go by, and the pharmacist noti…

A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking United” was the reply. “W…

1. Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it? 2. Repo…

Whether it’s true or not, Irish are believed to be drinking to excess, so it doesn’t come as a surprise that there are a bunch of jokes about them regarding the consumption of liquor. However, we believe the one below is one of the best out there. This is gonna make you burst out laughing  Two men were sitting next …