very-funny

A teacher was explaining biology to her 4th grade students.   “Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she said.   A little girl raised her hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.”   The teacher, knowing how precious some children’s stories could become, asked the little girl to describe the incident.   “We…

Farmer Jack once lived on a quiet rural highway, but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a week. So Farmer Jack called the local police station to complain, "You've got to do somethin…

Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.  I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.   These last 2 weeks have been hell.  Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.  Last week, you came home & …

A 90 year-old man marries a beautiful 25 year-old woman.   They go on their honeymoon to beautiful, picturesque Venice, Italy.   After a day of sightseeing, they return to their hotel. He turns to his young bride and says, “Honey, I’m tired after all this excitement. I’m going to go to bed. See you in the morning.” …

A lawer, a surgeon, and a janitor are going on a camping trip… when they discover a magical wizard. He says, “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.” The lawyer says, “Easy! I’ll be a kindergarten teacher! How hard can it be to read to a bunch of little kids?” He gets transporte…

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear Granddaughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed b…