Humor: The rules from a man’s perspective We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rulesfrom the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these areall numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, putit down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear uscomplaining about you leaving it down.1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think ofit that way.1. Crying is blackmail.1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hintsdo not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expectus to act like soap opera guys.1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of theways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want itdone. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to sayduring commercials.1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We haveno idea what mauve is.1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will actlike nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worththe hassle.1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect ananswer you don't want to hear.1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.Really.1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are preparedto discuss such topics as football, boxing or the local 1. You have enough clothes.1. You have too many shoes.1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on thecouch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's likecamping.