very-funny

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from…

A lady goes to her priest one day & tells him: ''Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know to say one thing.'' "What do they say?" the priest asked.  They say, ''Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?''   ''That's obs…

An American, Brit, and an Aussie are about to get executed in Russia.   The executioner approaches the American prisoner and says, “How would you like to die? By firing squad, hung by the neck, or on the electric Chair?”   “I’ll take the chair” the American says.   So he gets strapped into the electric chair.   When …

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Having been playing outside with his friends, a small boy came into the house and asked: “Grandma, what is it called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?” His grandma was surprised to hear such a forthright question from a six-year-old but decided to answer as honestly as she could.…

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English. So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "Th…