SENIOR MOMENTS

1. Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it? 2. Repo…

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The Best Irish Joke Ever. This Is Gold.

Whether it’s true or not, Irish are believed to be drinking to excess, so it doesn’t come as a surprise that there are a bunch of jokes about them regarding the consumption of liquor. However, we believe the one below is one of the best out there. This is gonna make you burst out laughing  Two men were sitting next …

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A tad naughty - Paddy is 85 and lives in a Senior Citizens Home.

A tad naughty - Paddy is 85 and lives in a Senior Citizens Home. Every night after dinner he goes to a secluded garden behind the home to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mary, age 82, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After …

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Don’t take that drink, that is the devil’s brew

A man is in a bar and ready to take a drink of his whiskey when a nun comes up to him and says, “Don’t take that drink, that is the devil’s brew.”   The man says that the drink is just whiskey.   He asks the nun, “Have you ever tried it? You know you shouldn’t judge until you at least try it once.”   The nun says, ‘…

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A crusty old biker walks into a bank and says to the woman

A crusty old biker walks into a bank and says to the woman at the teller window, “I want to open a damn checking account.”   The astonished woman replies, “I beg your pardon, Sir.  I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?”   “Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account now!”   “I’m very…

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an officer parked his car outside a bar in Angleton, Texas.

During a routine police patrol, an officer parked his car outside a bar in Angleton, Texas. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed …

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Paddy had been drinking at his local pub all day and most of the night.  Mick, the bartender says,  ‘You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy’. Paddy replies,  ‘OK Mick, I’ll be on my way then’.  Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. ‘Damn’ he says and pulls himself up by the…

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